Not A Joking Matter

Sometimes is it great fun to be hooked up to the Uni e-mail system, just to receive some of things that back fire. I received the following e-mail during the week as a mass mailing. It is a harmless joke - not that funny but still harmless. Have a read, and then look at the replies.

God created the DONKEY and said," You will work tirelessly from sunrise to sunset carrying heavy bags on your back, you will eat grass, you will not have intelligence and you will live for 50 years.

The Donkey answered, "I'll be a donkey but living 50yrs is too much, give me only 20yrs. and God gave him 20 yrs.

God created the DOG and said, "You will look after man's house, you will be his best friend, you will eat whatever they give you and you will live for 25 years.

The Dog answered, "I'll be a Dog but living 25yrs. is too much, give me only 10 yrs. and god gave him 10 yrs.

God created the MONKEY and said, you will jump from branch to branch, you will do silly things, you will be amusing and you will live 20 years.

The Monkey answered, I'll be a Monkey, but living 20 yrs is too much, give me only 10 yrs. and god gave him 10 yrs.

God created MAN and said, "You will be a man, the only human being on this earth and you will use your intelligence to control other animals, you will dominate the world and you will live for 20 years.

The Man answered, "I'll be a man, but living 20 years is not enough, why don't you give me the 30 years the donkey refused, the 15 years that the Dog refused and the 10 years the monkey refused...?

THAT WAS EXACTLY WHAT GOD DID

MAN lives 20 years like a MAN ... then he gets married and spends 30 years like a DONKEY, working and carrying the load on his back ... then when his children leave, he spends 15 years like a DOG looking after the house and eating whatever is given to him ... FINALLY he gets old and retires and spends the next 10 years like a MONKEY jumping from house to house or from children to children doing silly things to amuse his grandchildren.

Now as you will probably realise by now, PNG is a pretty Christianised place. One thing that you don't mess with is people's beliefs. The following were received not long after.

Its a big mockery to the true nature of the creation of Man and the world.......

Does not look funny or amusing to me...

and ...

Please be selective when mass mailing......

I hate to be a parttaker to your mockery!!!

WHAT'S AMUSING ABOUT THIS??.NO HUMAN, ANIMAL NOR SPIRITS EVER TELLS THE CREATOR WHAT TO DO!!!

The funniest thing about this episode was the follow-up reply sent out by the original forwarder. I did not receive it but I got to read it on one of my colleague's machines. They said they were deeply sorry if people had been offended and that their computer currently had a virus and that this was the reason the e-mail got sent out!!

Now it doesn't take a genius to realise what a piece of bollocks this is, no virus I know of is smart enough to selectively read your e-mails and then forward them on. Perhaps the reason I did not receive this reply is that I would have immediately seen through this smoke screen.

Anyway, I did receive a funnier e-mail during the week from Roger that I am sure would have most of the Uni staff up in arms and forming a lynch mob. Hopefully no one from Uni will ever find this site!

A businessman is getting on a flight when he hears from the other passenger that the Pope is going to be on the flight. "WOW, great!" he thinks. "What a good place to be today."

He is boarding, but he doesn't see the Pope, so he figures that maybe the other passengers were wrong. He takes his seat and is thankful that there is an empty seat next to him. Just before the flight closes, the Pope enters the plane and sits next to him. I am surely blessed the man thinks. Here I am a good Catholic on a flight with the Pope sitting next to me.

The plane takes off, and after a few minutes the passengers take off their seatbelts. The man looks sideways and sees the Pope reaching into his bag to take out a crossword book. Marvellous, he thinks, not only am I blessed with the Pope next to me, but he does crosswords and so do I. Maybe he will ask for help. He notices that the Pope is working his way through the puzzle, and that the Pope is tapping his pencil, thinking.

The Pope turns to him and says: "I usually don't talk to others on flights, but I wonder if you can help me?"

"Anything your eminence. What is it?".

"Do you know a four letter word for 'woman' that ends in u-n-t?"

The man feels uncomfortable. He thinks and thinks. Finally he says, "The only word I can think of is aunt."

The Pope turns to him and asks, "Do you have an eraser?